The BDSM community is a diverse and complex, and beautiful subculture that has its own unique set of practices and rituals. One such practice that has gained popularity in recent years is the “consideration collar.” In the BDSM community, a permanent collar is a symbol of ownership, commitment, and trust. It is worn by a submissive partner to signify their agreement to serve and obey their dominant partner and is often treated like a wedding ring.
What is a Consideration Collar?
A consideration collar, on the other hand, is a piece of jewelry worn during a trial period (not to be confused with the vetting period) to signify a potential long-term commitment between a dominant and a submissive partner. It is often a necklace style piece of jewelry (although other styles or types of jewelry can be used as well) that does not lock, and can be worn all day. The purpose of a consideration collar is to allow both partners the opportunity to explore their desires, boundaries, and expectations for the relationship without the pressure of a permanent commitment. It is often the first collar given by a Dominant partner to a submissive partner, with the intent to convert it to a training, and/or permanent ownership collar in the future. It also symbolizes their dynamic, acting as an identifier for others in the community that the submissive is not available to others.
For the submissive partner, wearing the consideration collar represents a willingness to submit to the dominant partner’s desires and expectations, while getting accustomed to their new dynamic. For the dominant partner, the consideration collar signifies their desire to take on the responsibility of caring for their submissive partner, while establishing the new parameters for their submissive’s service to them. It also represents their willingness to take the time to get to know their partner and to establish a strong foundation of trust before committing to a more permanent collar.
When should a consideration collar be given?
Consideration Collars are normally given at the beginning of a Dominant/submissive relationship after the vetting period is considered over by both parties. The giving and receiving of a Consideration Collar signifies a progression of the relationship between both members of a dynamic, as well as ‘taking the submissive off the market’ so to speak.
While discussion of a consideration collar may take place between the Dominant and submissive, it is just as common the the Dominant will make the sole decision to offer (or not) a consideration collar. The submissive then must make a decision if they would like to continue to the next level of the dynamic, and explore the relationship further. On rare occasion, a submissive may ask their Dominant partner for a consideration collar, although this practice can be considered taboo by some members of the community.
If the submissive partner does accept the Consideration Collar, they are often presented with a new set of rules and expectations from their Dominant counterpart. They are expected to wear the collar at all times, and adhere to the new parameters of the relationship, and in service to their partner.
How Long Should A Consideration Collar Be Worn?
The period in which a Consideration Collar is worn also varies. Some couples may choose to quickly progress from a consideration collar to a training or permanent collar within a few months, while others may take years to progress to the next level of collaring. And yet still, other couples may never progress past this phase of a Dominant/submissive dynamic, instead deciding they are not a good fit and parting ways. In this case, the Consideration Collar is removed by the submissive partner, and returned to the Dominant partner.
It is important to note that a consideration collar does not necessarily lead to a permanent collar. While some relationships may progress to that level of commitment, others may not. The decision to move forward with a permanent collar should be based on mutual agreement and consent between both partners, as permanent collaring should not be taken lightly and is often viewed with the same gravity as a marriage.
What is the next step after the consideration Collar
Once the Consideration Collar period has run it’s course and both members of a Dominant/submissive relationship are ready to advance their relationship, a Training Collar is often the next step. This collar is more elaborate than a consideration collar, and runs the gambit of simple necklace styles to chunky play collars worn only in private. It is often a locking collar, but both partners may have the key.
The training collar is accompanied with even more parameters and rules for the submissive, and deeper caregiving responsibilities for the Dominant.
During this period, the submissive is considered in formal ‘training ‘ to their Dominant, learning how to perfect their service and submission. It is the intermediate step to a permanent collar and dynamic, although some couples may choose to skip this step.
Overall, the consideration collar is a valuable tool for BDSM partners who are looking to establish a strong, committed relationship built on trust, communication, and mutual respect before committing to a long-term dynamic. It allows both partners to explore their desires and expectations in a safe and supportive environment, while also signaling a potential for a deeper level of commitment in the future.